If It Weren't for the People...

When I was in college, I had a professor who shall remain unnamed that often said, “Ministry would be great if it weren’t for the people.” He would say this tongue in cheek, and everyone would chuckle. After all, if it weren’t for the people, there would be no pastoral ministry, right? It didn’t take long of being in the world of ministry before I realized that there was probably more truth to this quip than I realized.

While the Lord has spared me from the severe “people challenges” that many have had to experience, I have had my share. I have been criticized, talked about behind my back, lied to, lied about, challenged publicly, cursed at, and rebuked. And this all happened on my first day as pastor. (I’m just kidding. This didn’t all happen on my first day but sometimes it felt like it.)

As I was thinking through this subject matter, I began to think about the Apostle Paul and his ministry. It certainly came with challenges, many of which came from people that he was attempting to serve. In 2 Timothy 1:15-16, we read, “You are aware that all who are in Asia turned away from me, among whom are Phygelus and Hermogenes. 16 May the Lord grant mercy to the household of Onesiphorus, for he often refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chains.” When you study passages such as this one, it is apparent that along with people come challenges. Whether it’s from those in leadership positions or simply those among the congregation, people often turn on the leader. The attacks can come from inside and outside the church.

If a church is established and has a solid reputation, these episodes can be overcome without suffering major loss. In a church plant, however, especially in the early days, this type of experience can be detrimental. Some churches never recover when these things happen.

When we moved to Buffalo in 2010, we were joined by two families that also relocated to the area to help us establish the church. These two families were from different regions of the country and in different stages of life. On paper, this was going to be great. I remember thinking, “Look at the team that the Lord has given us to work alongside.” It didn’t take long, however, for me to realize that this was not a good working relationship. There were some differences philosophically and some differences in approach to work and ministry. For several months, we attempted to make it work but to no avail. The time finally came for me to ask them to resign and leave our ministry team.

To say that this did not sit well would be an understatement. It was not a case of immorality or embezzlement which in some ways would have made the decision more cut and dry. Please understand that this was a good man and a good family. We loved them dearly. We just could not work together. I wish that I could say that I did everything right during this process, but I can’t. What I can say, however, is that I learned a lot and matured a lot through the process.

While I tried to stay out ahead of any fallout that this decision could potentially cause, that was to no avail. The quick exodus on his part, while still living in the same place, raised some questions and concerns that I was not prepared to handle. From within the church, one family in particular, and one that I did not expect, chose sides and I was instantly considered to be the bad guy. Nothing that I said would suffice and for the next several months, they used this decision against me, my family, and our other team members. Just recently, and this is now over 10 years later, I received a message attacking my character for the way that I handled this situation, among others.

Your situation may look much different than did mine, but you get the point, right? Leading people and ministering to people can be overwhelming. Even if you do everything right, which admittedly I did not, people often turn on the leader. That’s why I entitled this blog, “If It Weren’t for the People.” Let me share some lessons that I learned through this experience.

1.     Choose leadership wisely and prayerfully. As a church planter, sometimes we get anxious to get our team built or to get leadership in place. It is not just important, however, to get the seats on the bus filled, but to get the seats on the bus filled with the right people. Trust the Lord to guide you through this process and be sensitive to His leadership. You may only get one shot at getting this right. Ask others for insight. There is a reason that we ask for references on an application but I fear that we often neglect hearing what these references may have to say so we avoid them altogether.

2.     Communicate clearly and frequently. There are times when we have expectations, and we assume that everyone, especially those on our leadership team, knows them. But do they? They can’t if we have not communicated them clearly and frequently. It has been said often that, “When you're tired of saying it, they're only just starting to hear it.” I’m not sure where the quote originated but it rings true. Be sure with your staff and leadership that you communicate clearly and frequently your goals, plans, agendas, philosophy, expectations, and vision of how to get where you want to go.

3.     Spend time building both the team and the camaraderie of the team. Generally speaking, we do a pretty decent job of building the team. After all, the sheer number of resources available for this purpose makes this task fairly easy. Building camaraderie and trust, however, is a different animal altogether. You need to spend time together. You need to like one another and for your families to enjoy being together. While it is true that families may have different interests and enjoyments, find those things that are common pleasures and do them together often. If you can’t enjoy being together, your people will know it and you will not enjoy doing ministry together.

4.     Be prepared for the fact that not everyone will like you, your way of doing ministry, or your way of leading. Hear me when I say, “That’s ok.” The Lord was certainly not loved by everyone He led. Have you heard of Judas Iscariot? Paul’s way of leading John Mark was not Barnabas’ preferred method of leadership. Paul’s tough skin and his resolve, however, helped him survive those times when it seemed like those that he invested in the most found ways to turn against him.

Thankfully, by God’s grace, we were able to survive the challenges from my aforementioned story. That is not always the case, however. We actually came out stronger in the end and I as a leader learned some valuable lessons about what it is like to lead people. What are your suggestions? What would you add to my list? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section.